THE ONE WITH THE LIFE WITH A NEWBORN

To every new mommy who is reading this, congratulations, GOD bless and a 1000 hugs and kisses coming your way from me to you. To every mommy on the planet, for your are such an amazing survivor, I dedicate all the love in my heart through this blog to you.

My baby Layla is exactly four weeks today (Monday) and will be one month old on Thursday the 9th, so I thought this is the perfect time to write about last month's experience.

Living with a newborn isn't easy AT ALL. I have a lot of mommies asking me how do I manage and to be honest I wouldn't have made it without my mom. My mom arrived 2 days after I gave birth and she was a life saver. I have read all kinds of baby books about how to care for a newborn, still the experience matters.

The cycle of feeding, burping and nappy changing never ends. The 1st 2 weeks layla slept with my mom, cause GOD knows I haven't slept for 4 months before. After that when I got the hang of it we started taking shifts. 

The saddest part of the experience to me was that I failed to breast feed. Ever since I got pregnant, I thought breastfeeding was just a given. I prepared myself every bit for breastfeeding. From the breastfeeding cover to the nipple cream. I read every book and watched every video about breastfeeding and how to feed your baby. I thought it would be the easiest part of the whole thing. I thought once my baby arrives, I am going to latch her and she would feed and that's it.

Unfortunately that wasn't it. Layla didn't demand feeding for about 24 hours after she was born. All the sudden at 12 midnight she started screaming for food, and I tried everything to give her my breast, she would suckle for a few seconds then she would move her head away and start crying. Her father had to run out in the middle of the night in the London streets looking for a taxi that could take him to an open store to buy formula.

 After that I kept trying to breastfeed her for 2 weeks, I tried everything and I did everything right she just wouldn't latch on for more than 10 seconds. So, I started pumping milk for her and she still refused it. 

She would suckle for a few seconds then starts spitting it out. Apparently my milk was too sweet for her. So I gave up and stopped trying. Some people asked me if I don't breastfeed because I might be scared that I might ruin my breasts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was the stupidest, most ridiculous thing I've ever heard through my entire life. Seriously!!!

First, the sentence itself dripples with ignorance, cause once you get pregnant your breasts starts making milk, and once the baby is born they start secreting the milk on their own. Your decisions wither to breastfeed or not after that wouldn't change a thing cause the milk glands have already worked. And when the milk dries you breast are gonna look and feel different. End of story.

Second, this is such an awful accusation to a mother of selfishness. 

Hey, don't get me wrong!! I'm not judging any mother who chose not to breastfeed. But this assumption was insulting to me personally. I want what's best for my baby, every mother does her best, but sometimes If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. 

Here it came to the point of drying up my breast. When you have lactating boobs and no baby to empty them up, life can be horrible. On the other hand, all the books talk about ways and techniques to breastfeed and to increase milk supply ...etc. And hardly someone mentions weaning and how to get your breasts to stop making milk. So, I called my sister and asked her how to dry up my milk supply and she told me the weirdest technique. She told me to get a green leaf cabbage, chill in the fridge and stuff each bra cup with one or two leaves (depending on how big your boob is), and change the leaves whenever they welt. Put a couple of breast pads towards the wire of the bra to absorb any leakage, just make sure to put them between the leaf and the bra cup, not between the leaf and the breast i.e. the cabbage should be in direct contact with your breast. The cold cabbage relives the congestion and apparently some sulfa component in the cabbage dries up the milk. 

And indeed, two days and the milk was 98% gone, hardly leaked for an extra day and that's it. The 1st day the breasts were hard and congested, the second day they became soft with a bit of leakage, another couple of days and there was no more milk :D. worked like a charm.

Caring for your baby is not easy, it's a job filled with hard work and guilt. The constant worrying if you are doing a good job or not. If what you are doing is enough. If you are breastfeeding, you feel guilty about every thing you eat or drink. If you are formula feeding, the guilt about not breastfeeding. 

Having a baby means you can trust almost no one with your child except for my mom, cause lets face it, our mothers are just the better version of us.

But at the end of the road, your baby is your child, nobody is going to love this baby more than you. You have the right to choose what do you want for your child, and nobody has the right to judge you or tell what to do. You know what's best for you and your child.  So anyone else who tell otherwise can just back the hell off, cause you know what??? If they were in your shoes, they wouldn't even know where to begin.

So, here is to every mom, especially the fresh ones. You had enough hard time being pregnant and you still have a long journey ahead of you to make a proper human being out of your little bundle of joy. So, try to take a break for you. Go out and spend some time with friends. Leave your baby with your mom for a couple of hours and go have some fun, you deserve it. Even if your are breastfeeding, pump some milk and store it and your mom can bottle feed your baby until you come back. Here is an app that can really help you with that, it's called Milk Maid.

My last advice to you is love your baby to death, but don't forget about yourself along the way. Start trying to get in shape as soon as you can. Enjoy yourself every chance you get to. Love yourself, so you could love your baby.

                                                           from Salma with love. xxxx

P.S. It took me two days to finally finish this post, I started on Monday morning and I finished on Wednesday 1 o'clock in the morning. YES, this is motherhood lovies ..lol

THE ONE WITH HOW TO DRESS STRAIGHT BODY SHAPE

The key to dressing a Straight body type is to proportionally dress the top and bottom of your body while enhancing your waist. If you are comfortable doing so, you can wear form fitting clothing (such as a tube-type dress) and create a waist by adding a wide, dark belt. However, to create a more curvaceous effect add volume (or the illusion of volume) proportionally to your upper and lower body by mixing and matching suggested separates.

Tops

Look for tops that will add curves to your upper half and create a more defined waist:

• Tops with nipped or belted waists.
• Off the shoulder, boat-neck tops, wide V or U necks.
• Structured shoulders, princess or flutter sleeves.
• Embellishments around the bust and shoulders.
• Tops that are full, rushed or flowing around the bust.

Tops for straight body types

1. Find tops with belted or gathered waists with fullness around the bust and hips.
2. Off the shoulder shirts and wide necklines will lengthen your shoulders and create the illusion of a smaller waist. Enhance the effect with a wide belt and padded bra.
3. Flowing tops with draping in the body and sleeves and a wide banded waist help create the illusion of an hourglass figure.
4. Billowy tops that add volume to the bust with a snug fitting waist. Add flutter or princess sleeves for a more dramatic effect.
5. Shirts with a fitted waist and embellishments around the bust and shoulders will give you a more curvaceous appearance.
6. Jackets with full or structured shoulders and a nipped-in or belted waist. Draw attention to your bust with pockets or details. Choose a jacket with a pocketed or flared bottom.

Bottoms

Look for bottoms that add curves to your lower half while creating an hourglass effect:

• Go for details such as whiskering, embellished pockets & flap pockets.
• Cargo or safari pants with pronounced hip and rear pockets.
• Pants with full or moderately flared legs.
• Full, tiered or bubble skirts.
• Mid to low-rise waists with wide waistbands.

Bottoms for straight body shapes

1. Choose pants with a wide waist band and full or slightly flared legs. Flap rear pockets, pronounced hip pockets and cargo pockets will add curves to your lower half.
2. Choose boot cut or flared jeans with a low to mid rise waist. Whiskering at the hips will add the illusion of curvier hips and flap-type back pockets will add fullness to your bottom.
3. Choose full, tiered, or bubble skirts of any length. Pair with shirts that provide an equal amount of volume to your bust and shoulders to create an hourglass effect.
4. Find skirts with details, seaming or pockets that add the illusion of curves to your hips.

Swimsuits

Look for swimsuits that will add the illusion of curves to your figure:

• Wide-set straps.Moderate to full coverage bottoms.
• Light colored tops that are ruffled, embellished, patterned or padded.
• Light colored bottoms or waist bands with ruffles or embellishments.
• Waistbands that are cut straight across from hip to hip.

Swim suits for straight body types

1. Light colored or bold patterned tops with wide-set straps. Choose a padded or push-up top to add curves to your upper half.
2. Ruffled or embellished tops that will draw the eye up adding curves to your upper half.
3. Skirted or ruffled bottoms in a light, bright or bold pattern will help ad curves to your hips.
4. Choose light, bright or patterned bottoms with a mid to low rise waist that cuts straight across your hips. Choose bottoms with ties or hip embellishments to add the illusion of curves.
5. One piece bathing suits with a criss-cross front, or with embellishment around the hips and bust to add the illusion of curves.
6. Choose tankinis with ruffles or embellishments around the bust and hips to add illusions of curves. Enhance the effect with a dark colored waist.
   

  Dresses:

Dress with tucked waist and skater skirts, or tight dresses with peplum skirts.

 

skater dress

peplum dress

Celebrities with straight (rectangle shape):

• Nicole Kiddman.
• Natalie Portman.
• Cameron Diaz